Archive for the ‘Reflections & Musings’ Category

A guest post by Jonathan Diaso
Jonathan with his papa, Dave

This is a guest post written by my son, Jonathan Diaso. He wrote this in memory of his sister, Hannah Elizabeth Diaso. Last Friday, October 18th was the 3rd year anniversary of when Hannah moved to heaven.

I love how Jonathan shares his journey and how the Lord used his sister in his life. I asked Jonathan if it would be okay to share it with you on my blog, and he agreed!


I used to be a Christian – How I left the Church and Finally Found Jesus
Hannah and Jonathan

I still wonder to this day how I was churched since I was born, but never actually knew Jesus on a personal level. Some of you may have a similar experience and some of you may think the idea of “knowing Jesus” is crazy. You might also be wondering how leaving the church led me to Jesus. God has put this on my heart to share with those who have been to church and never really encountered Jesus, those who have never been to church and also those who have a negative perspective on the word Church or Christianity. While I love Jesus there are concerns I have regarding the word “Christian”. What makes a person a Christian anyhow? 

You may have been told that if you do all the right things then Jesus will love you. Whether this emphasis was intended by the church or not I often felt this way. Jesus opened my eyes by showing me that I am welcome “As is”. I do not have to earn his love as he loved me before I was even born. I do good things, because I am loved by God not so that God will love me back. I believe we have a hard time rationalizing this as how many of your friends would love you back if you did not show them affection? “The Christian does not believe that God will love us because we are good rather that he will make us good because he loves us” (C.S. Lewis). God loves you as you are and not as you should be. 

My Christian friends and I would meet up years ago and discuss which biblical laws we were or were not following, we tried to be good people. C.S. Lewis explains this very well, “No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good”. The Bible talks about the law of works or what I call the do good things gospel and this type of Christianity does not work. While this method seeks to fix the side effects of how we should behave, this process forgets the purpose as to why we do these things. I once heard the statement, “Some people have just enough Jesus to be miserable”. 

I am a Christian, I go to church (in-fact I love my church family), but being a Christian far exceeds attending Church. My Church reads this card every service, “If you are a… Saint, Sinner, Loser, Gambler, Lost, Fearful, ADHD, Liar, Hypocrite, Bastard, Lover, Cutter, Tweaker, Alcoholic, Adopted, Abandoned, Leftover, Divorced, LGBT, Alone, Old, Young, Driven, Cheater, Success, Infected, Rejected, Pierced and Tatted or Just a Misfit… YOU ARE WELCOME HERE” (The Sanctuary Church). I believe that all are welcome in God’s house and are loved where they are at. In other words you come in a mess and God says, “I am going to make your mess a message.” 

Why do I bring this all up today? Three years ago my sister Hannah moved to heaven. Hannah accepted everyone and brought the gospel to outcasts. At Hannah’s prayer vigil I heard many stories of how Hannah had impacted those around her. One of them shared by her friend Jake stood out to me, “No one loved those around her more than Hannah, she knew how to love the margins. When we were out doing ministry Hannah felt God speak to her and she knew she needed to go pray for a man sitting nearby. The man that stood out to Hannah was covered in tattoos (even a tear tattoo next to his eye, commonly a prison tattoo). Plainly put, this man was someone that people often try to avoid. Hannah Did not care what he looked like, what his background was, whether he did good things with his life, how he dressed etc. Hannah knew that God’s love transcended social status and she knew how to bring the message of the Gospel to people of all colors, races and social statuses. When Hannah prayed for this stranger he began to cry, he could not understand why my sister cared about him. He likely knew he did not earn or deserve her love that day. Hannah went up to him without fear of how he would react, she knew that Jesus would do the rest.” Jake did share with me that he would not let her go by herself, which was still a smart call. Jake was amazed by the passion and love that this young woman carried. 

Jonathan gave Hannah this Bible, and as you can see in the text she loved it!

Hannah was highly influential in my life as I attribute much of who I am today to her example over the years. Hannah reminded me later in life that it is not enough to be a Christian and to try to be good people so that we can make it to heaven. We were put on this earth for a reason and God wants to use you and me to love those around us and yes this means loving people before they earn it. I spent many years of my life trying to be a good Christian, hiding my issues in attempt to be accepted and loved by other Christians. I now know that, God does not need to use guilt and shame, because love and grace do a damn good job. There is a famous song that goes, “I’ll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross”. While this is a powerful line used to thank Jesus for what he did, we actually have a need to know how much it cost for him to die on that cross. When you and I realize how much it cost we also realize our value. Before you and I did anything to earn his love, God sent his son to die for you and me. “Christ proved God’s passionate love for us by dying in our place while we were still lost and ungodly!” (Romans 5:8, TPT). While I left the church years ago, I encountered Jesus in various ways since. While I am still in process and in pursuit of a deeper relationship with our Heavenly Father, God is still molding me daily to be more like Christ. Christianity is no longer a religion for me. This is the story of how one woman in her short life impacted her older brother and many others around her in an incredible way. If you want to know Jesus on a more personal level send me a message. This could change your life.

Hannah, I love you!

What Does it Mean to be Desperate?

From Christianitytoday.com Image processed by CodeCarvings Piczard FREE Community Edition on 2016-03-16

Have you ever been desperate to see something happen? I’ve been thinking lately of the good side of desperation. I suppose often when we think of the word, “desperate,” it has a negative connotation. We don’t necessarily seek to be in a state of desperation.

I’d like to share an experience I had with Dawn and Hannah a few years ago. The three of us went to an event at a church in the area. None of us had ever been to this event before and we didn’t really know what to expect, but we thought we’d give it a try. The service started with a long period of worship, which I enjoyed. Yet the people there were more emotional and more expressive than I’m used to. I felt uncomfortable in some ways because it was something different for me.

I believe now reflecting back on the time that I had an attitude, which adversely affected my ability to worship. In other words, I became cynical, and it wasn’t a good attitude by any means.

Later as I thought through my experience I felt like the Lord gently nudging me, and it hit me that these people were desperate to know God in a deeper way and to have an encounter with him. It also caused me to see that sometimes when I worship it can become a little stale, and I don’t have that sense of longing for the Lord. I don’t believe that I necessarily need to worship in the same way, but I do believe that I should be desperate to know God. I want to long to know him in a deeper and more profound way. At times I think that has been missing from my life.

I long for more. I must admit that when our daughter, Hannah moved to heaven it was a kind of wake up call. It’s like, this has to be real. I need a deeper relationship with my Lord. I can’t live one more day without him.

I’ve served in ministry for more than 30 years now, and I suppose one might think that someone in ministry shouldn’t have these issues. Yet, there’s always a danger whether we are in ministry or not of becoming pharisaical, of losing our first love. Not that I had lost my first love, but I wasn’t where I wanted it to be. I wasn’t as hungry as I was when I first came to Christ.

Being Undignified in Worship and Celebration

Levi the Exalter Angel at the prayer center in Every Home for Christ in Colorado Springs. This sculpture was named Levi in memory of the sculptor’s 19-year-old son, Levi who died suddenly in a car crash in 2010.

When people are desperate they may not always do things in the most dignified ways. We see examples of this in the Bible, and yet God rewarded their willingness to humble themselves.

In 2 Samuel 6, David was leaping and dancing before the Lord in celebration as they brought the ark of the covenant back to Jerusalem. His wife, Michal, despised him when she saw him. David responded in verse 22 saying, “I will make myself yet more contemptible than this, and I will be abased in your eyes. But by the female servants of whom you have spoken, by them I shall be held in honor.” David was willing to unabashedly worship the Lord with his whole being. How often do we worship in the same manner?

Another example in the New Testament is the blind beggar in Luke 18 who cried out to Jesus as he was going by. He cried out, “‘Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!’ And those who were in front of rebuked him, telling him to be silent. But he cried out all the more, ‘Son of David, have mercy on me!'” (Luke 18:39) Jesus stopped and healed the blind beggar. He went on to compliment him and he told him that his faith had made him well.

There are many more examples in the Bible of people who were willing to humble themselves and even take the risk of looking like a fool, and the Lord rewards their faith.

Growing to Have a Desperate Love

Thank you for praying for us, and for joining us on this journey!

Thankful to be on this journey together, and grateful for you for joining us on this journey!

I don’t think it’s easy to have this reckless abandon for the Lord. I pray that even though it’s uncomfortable that I will have this type of desperate love and desire to know and encounter the living Christ.

I’m grateful that we just celebrated His resurrection. Christ defeated death, Satan, and sin on the cross so that we might live and experience life abundantly. It’s not just life, but an abundant and rich life. Thank you, Jesus!

In His Grip, Dave

DiasoLifeOnTheBorder.org

The Man of Sorrows

Isaiah refers to Christ as the man of sorrows who is acquainted with grief in Isaiah 53:3.

The passion of Christ – pinterest hearhim.net. This picture is gruesome. It’s hard to look at. I questioned whether I should post it or not, but this is the very thing we wrestle with understanding Christ’s suffering for our sins!

I feel that often I shied away from focusing on this aspect of Christ. There’s part of me that reacts like Peter when I think of Christ’s suffering.

When Jesus told the disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer and be killed, Peter took him aside and said, “Far be it from you, Lord! This shall never happen to you.” Then Jesus responded and he rebuked Peter. He said, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.” (Matthew 16:22-23 ESV)

The reason I can see myself identifying with Peter is there’s a part of me that believes the hero of the story should not die. This is one of the reasons we like movies that have a strong hero, or even a super hero. These leaders conquer their foe.

Christ Conquers Sin, Death & Satan on the Cross

At first glance it appears like Christ is losing, that he is being conquered when he is hanging on the cross of Calvary. And if the story ended on Friday it indeed would be a sad story. This story is different, the one who for a while seems to have lost is raised on the third day, so that we might have life.

This brings me great comfort and I hope it brings you comfort as well. This hero is different. He died so that we might live. He bore our griefs and he carried our sorrows. He was pierced for our transgressions and crushed for our iniquities as the prophet Isaiah foresees 600 years before the actual crucifixcion. His suffering brings us peace, healing and hope.

How could we make it in this world without hope.

The passion of Christ from Pinterest hearhim.net. The gentle Christ. The lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world!

Dawn and I along with David and Jonathan have become acquainted with grief when Hannah moved to heaven. Jesus does comfort us in our grief and he gives us hope. He walks with us in the journey. He truly is our savior, even though we’ve gone astray and went our own way. He runs after us in his divine grace and draws us in.

If you have yet to trust this Christ, the suffering one, who died on the cross for your sins I would encourage you to do it today. Then you will experience the true peace that Christ came to bring. He will make you more than a conqueror. There are so many good and wonderful promises in the Bible for those who do believe. These promises are all yes and amen!

In His Grip, Dave

DiasoLifeOnTheBorder.org

Our Trip to Colorado

Our growing family - Jonathan & Hannah's wedding. David & Emily's wedding shower

Our growing family – Jonathan & Hannah’s wedding. David & Emily’s wedding shower

Last week Dawn and I were in Colorado to visit our growing family. Jonathan married Hannah on December 1st of last year, and David is soon to be married to Emily Tenison on May 26th. We had a couples wedding shower for David and Emily which was a lot of fun, and we met Emily’s mom, Libby, for the first time.

Our trip to Colorado was packed full, so although we saw a few friends we didn’t see everybody we would have liked to see. One thing we did do that was super encouraging was we met with a small group of prayer warriors. They are gifted in prayer. We spent about an hour and a half with them as they prayed for us and spoke words of encouragement over us.

Colorado Dreaming!

I find that when I’m around people that have a close walk with the Lord that it seems to spark something in me. Both Dawn and I just love when we feel in a strong way the Lord’s presence. It ministers to our soul.

After our time of prayer, I had a dream that night about some missionaries. I didn’t know one of the missionaries, but I heard his name in the dream, so I had to do a little searching to figure out who he was. Since this particular dream was so clear I felt like the Lord wanted to communicate something to me. So when we got back home I began to pray, and the Lord opened my eyes and helped me to see.

Affirmation of the Father’s Love

Warrior Angel at the prayer center at Every Home for Christ in Colorado Springs

Warrior Angel at the prayer center in Every Home for Christ in Colorado Springs

I decided to send the missionaries a note just letting them know how I sensed the Lord wanted to encourage them. I felt like it was a risk to share with them, especially with the guy who I didn’t know. They responded to my message after a few days, and one of them told me, “you hit the nail on the head.” That strengthens my faith, and it lifted my spirit.

I prayed some more and as I prayed especially for one of the missionaries I felt the overwhelming love of the Father. The sense I felt was so strong that I almost started crying while I was walking my dog, Daisy and praying in the park. After that experience, I decided that I should share more with my missionary friend. The Lord used that to build my faith.

Encouragement Multiplied

Then on the next day, while I was praying for a number of pastors and leaders in Cuba, Mexico and Colombia that we partner with I decided this message would be encouraging for them as well. I sent the note of encouragement to them, and a number of them responded and told me how the Lord had used it to encourage them in some amazing ways!

Yesterday I started thinking I should write about this and post it so more friends can read it and be blessed by it. This is part of what I said in the message I sent out:

After I received your message I was able to go on a walk to think and pray. While walking I had this overwhelming sense of the Father’s love. I sensed that the Father wants you to know how deeply he loves you. He wants you to grow in that love, to bask in it. His love is not based on you being a missionary or based on your success. He just loves you and he wants you to know and experience his love in a deeper and fuller way.

If you are able listen to Good Good Father by Chris Tomlin I think it will minster to you.

I pray that the Lord might encourage you today through these words of comfort. Learn to bask in the Father’s love. This reminds me of Paul’s prayer for the Ephesians in chapter 3 starting in verse 16.

“that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭3:16-19‬ ‭ESV‬‬

The Lord does hear our prayers and he desires a deep relationship with us. I pray that you might be encouraged by this message and that you might experience the Father’s love in a new and fresh way as he ministers to you!

In His Grip, Dave

DiasoLifeOnTheBorder.org

Celebrating 30 Years of Marriage!
Celebrating our 30 year anniversary!
Celebrating our 30 year anniversary!

Dawn and I just celebrated our anniversary yesterday, March 5. We hit an amazing milestone of 30 years of marital bliss. I can’t say that it’s always blissful, but it’s defintely worth working through those difficult days.

It’s Been Quite a Journey
Our family as we served in Mexico City
Our family in the early days as we served in Mexico City

We’ve endured more than most couples. Our first year of marriage we lived in Fresno, California. Then our second year we lived in three different cities in three different States: Fresno, California; Detroit, Michigan; McAllen, Texas. Our first son, David Jr. was born in McAllen.

When David was 5 months old in April of 1991 we moved to Mexico City where we lived for the next 3 plus years. While in Mexico City both Jonathan and Hannah were born. When Hannah was about one month old we drove from Mexico to McLean, Virginia. That was quite an adventure. Three children in diapers traveling across Mexico and then onto the US. After about 6 months in Virginia we drove across country to Fresno.

Sometimes, when I look back on it all, I wonder what we were thinking!!! We were very driven, and we had more energy back then!

After about 6 months in Fresno, I drove with my dad and David jr. back to Mexico City, while Dawn flew to Mexico with Jonathan and Hannah. When we arrived the house we thought we had rented fell through, so we didn’t have a place to live. I don’t remember how long it took us to find a home, but we did eventually find a great place to live and serve.

On our second term in Mexico City, I was kidnapped. You can read the full story by clicking here: kidnapped 1 &, kidnapped 2. Then about a year and a half later I was held up at gunpoint and had my car stolen. They took me on a short joy ride during that robbery as well. I also wrote about that and you can read that story by clicking on this link: kidnapped 3.

From Mexico City to Colorado
The last picture we have of our family together before Hannah moved to heaven
The last picture we have of our family together before Hannah moved to heaven

From Mexico City we moved to Colorado Springs. Those years were relatively calm compared to our first 10 years of marriage. Of course, we did raise three teenagers in Colorado Springs which is never easy.

Then just over six years ago we moved from Colorado to where we are now serving on the San Diego – Tijuana border and beyond. I like to add beyond, because we travel and work throughout Mexico and in other Latin American countries. It’s an amazing and growing ministry!

Our Life on the Border and Beyond!
Our growing family: David jr., Hannah, Jonathan, Dawn and Dave
Our growing family: David jr., Hannah (Jonathan’s wife & our new daughter), Jonathan, Dawn and Dave

We love living and serving on the border, yet it hasn’t been easy. As most of you know if you’ve been following us that two years ago our beautiful daughter, Hannah moved to heaven. That’s not something you necessarily get over. In fact this last week I’ve especially been missing Hannah. Sometimes I feel sad, and sometimes I feel frustrated and upset. It’s extremely hard on Dawn as well. This is an area we can always use prayer for as we mourn our daughter’s early home going.

When I began writing this post I was going to go a different direction with it, but I trust the Lord led me to write a summary of our lives and some of the trials and adventures we’ve been on. Of course, there have been many wonderful moments and seasons as well.

Giving Thanks for the Gift Dawn has been to Me
Dawn and I walk on this winding road of faith together
Dawn and I are seeking to show and share the love of Christ wherever we are, and whenever the Lord opens the door!

I guess, my main point here is that I chose well and that the Lord has blessed me in many ways by giving me Dawn. I don’t think that too many women could have survived all that we’ve been through. Unfortunately, many marriages don’t stand the test of time. By God’s grace, in spite of all that we’ve been through our love for one another has grown over the years. We are still growing. You don’t stop. We are still striving to have a greater love and passion for the Lord and for one another.

I give thanks today for the gift that my wife is to me, and to my children. We are stronger together, and it’s so encouraging to see where the Lord is taking us and the doors he is opening for us! Thank you for following us and praying for us. We couldn’t do it without the support and prayers of faithful friends!

In His Grip, Dave

DiasoLifeOnTheBorder.org

To Die is Gain, even in Our Pain

Dawn and Dave with Hannah when she graduated from IMPACT 195. Two months later she graduated to heaven. We miss her every day. So thankful for our hope in Jesus!

Dawn and Dave with Hannah when she graduated from IMPACT 195. Two months later she graduated to heaven. We miss her every day. So thankful for our hope in Jesus!

Today marks the 2nd anniversary of the worst and longest day of my life. The day my daughter, Hannah Elizabeth Diaso graduated, or as we like to say she moved to heaven.

When I think about it, I suppose it was the worst and the best day of Hannah’s life. Her last day on earth wasn’t a good day for her or for us. Yet she was immediately ushered to heaven where she saw Jesus face to face.

The Lord has been comforting me and reminding me this week of his true and amazing promises. I don’t think I could make it without his loving care and assurances.

Just as I began to write this he reminded me of Paul’s statement regarding life and death.

“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Philippians 1:21 ESV

It’s an amazing statement, but if we are honest, this is not the way most of us live. Death is a wake-up call. Dawn and I think about death differently now that Hannah moved to heaven. It’s caused us to think of heaven more frequently, and wonder what it is like there. Hannah went from suffering to experiencing pure joy in just a moment. It’s so hard to comprehend!

My Hate for Death!

Hannah Diaso, Our beautiful daughter

Hannah Diaso, Our beautiful daughter

Through my sweet daughter’s graduation to heaven, I’ve had to come to grips with death. It’s not an easy thing to do. I believe it’s a long process that I’m still going through in many ways.

I hate death and its effect on man. I never realized how horrible death was until my daughter died. God created the world without death. When man fell into sin death was waiting right at the doorstep. Ever since then all of creation has been groaning for the day of redemption.

I’m thankful for the life I’ve been given, but I long for redemption. I look for glimpses of my Heavenly Father’s redeeming love every day. When I see someone healed, or someone receive the gift of eternal life I believe this gives me a glimpse of redemption.

Again Paul gives us words of hope as we wait.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as son, the redemption of our bodies. Romans 8:18-23 ESV emphasis mine

Our loving Papa is at work as we suffer in this world. He brings redemption and he gives us hope as we wait.

A Desire to Encourage Others

Both Dawn and I love to minister. We enjoy encouraging others and seeing them set free of whatever may be holding them back. Often our friends will make a comment to us that we’ve been able to encourage them and lift them up in the midst of our pain and mourning. I think at times they are surprised that we’ve been able to stay upright and maintain a positive attitude.

We do have our difficult and down days, but it encourages us as we love on and minister to others. We’ve seen a lot of grace during these moments. Part of the mystery is the grace flows two ways as we extend God’s goodness to others. It goes out to those we minister to, but it also comes back to us.

I must say that I believe everyone in my immediate family, Dawn, David jr., Jonathan and me have all grown deeper in our love for the Lord. It’s not because there is anything special about us. When you are hurting, you realize that you need to run into the loving arms of your Father. It’s a place of comfort and nourishment. Once you’ve tasted of his love you want more and more. O Lord, bring it on!

More of the Lord’s Loving Encouragement

Our last picture as a family together before Hannah moved to heaven

Our last picture as a family together before Hannah moved to heaven

I found it interesting in my normal daily Bible reading this week, that the Lord had me read Psalm 116 and 1 Thessalonians 4:13. Amazing passages!

“I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live.

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.” Psalms 116:1,2 & 16 ESV

I still don’t fully understand death, and God’s ways, but I’m glad to know that the Lord does have it figured out. He has a plan for life and death. He even says that our days our numbered. At times all we can do is trust in his loving kindness. That’s what I choose to do.

From the moment Hannah moved to heaven one of the most helpful comforting verses in the Bible has been 1 Thessalonians 4:13. Often when I share my faith with nonbelievers I tell them that we are sad, but we have hope. The hope of heaven, the hope of redemption, the hope of a Savior sustains us. It takes away the sting of death. Christ conquered the grave.

“…what happens to those already dead and buried, we don’t want you in the dark any longer. First off, you must not carry on over them like people who have nothing to look forward to, as if the grave were the last word. Since Jesus died and broke loose from the grave, God will most certainly bring back to life those who died in Jesus.”        1 Thessalonians 4:13,14 MSG

I thank the Lord for the work of Jesus through his death and resurrection. Because he conquered the grave we have hope!

I hate that our daughter is no longer with us physically on this earth, but I’m grateful for the promises. I’m grateful for the hope of the gospel. I will continue to love and serve with Dawn longing for and looking for glimpses of God’s redeeming love until the day of redemption. Then I will be reunited with Christ, Hannah and all the saints that have gone before me.

Thank you, Papa, for your loving care! Hannah, I look forward to seeing you again soon!

In His grip, Dave

DiasoLifeOnTheBorder.org

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Mixed Emotions on This Day

One of our goals for 2018 is to build a church in memory of our daughter, Hannah.

Our daughter, Hannah Elizabeth Diaso

Today is a special day in the life of our family. Under normal circumstances, this would be a day of celebration. You see, on this day, April 9 my daughter, Hannah would have turned 24. The key phrase there is “would have,” but Hannah moved to heaven on October 18, 2016.

Now it is a day with mixed emotions!

Sorrow & Hope!

Hannah #AHannahPercent

Hannah We love you #AHannahPercent

Dawn and I along with our boys, David and Jonathan continue to give thanks for Hannah. We are grateful she was born. We give thanks for all she has meant to us, and the gift she is and was to us. Yet, there is also sadness and sorrow, because she is no longer here. As much as we wish we could, we can not change the fact that she has gone on ahead of us to be with the Lord.

For believers mourning is strange, in that, on the one hand, we have hope. All is not lost. We will see Hannah again! Hallelujah! Hannah is experiencing the greatest celebration possible today! Yet, because we love her so dearly we miss her. Each of my family members wishes we could take her out for a meal today, buy her a birthday cake and watch her joyfully blow out the candles. We would love to buy a gift for her and watch her open it.

Rather we are forced to wait. It’s not easy to wait. We do grieve, we do mourn, but not as those without hope.

The strange thing is on these days that should be days of celebration they become days of reflection. Days to remember what once was, and even what we dreamt for together.

Don’t get me wrong there are many good memories when I think about my daughter’s short life. These good memories are mingled in with some painful moments as well. It’s a mixed bag.

Tough Questions

Our last picture as a family together before Hannah moved to heaven

Our last picture as a family together before Hannah moved to heaven

I find that from time to time I want to ask, “Why?” “Why, Lord?” Why did this happen?” “Where were you in the midst of it all?”

I realize although these questions are inevitable, they are not good questions to focus on. The Lord was definitely with us in the midst of it all, even though it didn’t always seem like it. He has assured me of that, and he has said that he will never leave me nor forsake me. I believe those words are true.

The why questions are harder.

I’m not sure if the Lord will ever fully answer that question this side of heaven. We live in a broken world marred by sin. All of creation groans until the day of redemption. We are not the only ones who are crying out to the Lord as we grieve. We groan and we wait for the redemption as Romans 8:22-23 states.

Good Memories, Longing for More

On these days I find it harder to reflect on the good memories of Hannah. I’m not sure why? As I write this, I’m processing and in a sense thinking out loud. There are many good memories, but I think I just miss her so much, so even the good memories cause an ache of sorts.

My son, David wrote a wonderful reflection about his sister today. He shares many positive memories he has of Hannah. Although I cried as I read it, I found it encouraging. It’s worth checking out, My Little Sister.

I often think of King David after his young son died. David said he will not return to me, but one day I will go to him. That’s my hope to see my savior face to face and to see my daughter again one day.

The Lord is My Rock!

Dave with Hannah - My beautiful daughter that I love

Dave with Hannah – My beautiful daughter that I love. We had a special relationship. I do miss her so much.

Thank you, Lord, that you are near the broken hearted. You are with my family and me in our pain. You are carrying us through the valley of the shadow of death. You have a purpose, and it is a good purpose even if I don’t understand it.

When I reflect and think about our life and our grief it always comes back to our rock. He’s the rock of our salvation!

For some reason, this reminds me that a dear friend today, who I love encouraged me to be strong. In some instances, it could be hurtful to say something like that, but as I read those words I felt loved. I started to cry as I read those words, because I know the friend that wrote them loves Dawn and me, and that they look up to us. They want to encourage us.

Also, I realize that being strong doesn’t mean that I don’t cry, or that I don’t get sad or mourn. It means that even though “my world” may be falling apart around me that I keep my eyes on Jesus. He’s my rock. He lifts me up. He says that when I am weak then I am strong! I rejoice in my refuge in whom I run to in times of need.

Thank you, Jesus, for loving me, for loving my family in the midst of all the pain, and what at times even seems like hell on earth. Yet, this is temporary. It will soon pass!

“For this momentary affliction is peparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparision, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:17,18 ESV)

Dawn, David Jr., Jonathan and I thank you for going on this journey with us. It’s not an easy one, so thank you for staying with us through all the ups and downs. God is good! So Good!!

The Hannah Diaso Memorial Church

We are excited to build the church in Hannah’s memory this week. Please pray for us as we make the final preparations and work with our friends at Ministerios Transformación to see this new church bring the light of Christ into a community filled with many needs.

In His Loving Grip, Dave

DiasoLifeOnTheBorder.org