Posts Tagged ‘Hope’

Writer’s Block or Just Grieving?
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Our last family photo with Hannah

Before my daughter went to her permanent residence in heaven I found it easier to write and post on my blog. I felt like it was cathartic in many ways. It helped me to get the word out and tell the story about all the wonderful things the Lord is doing on the Border, the Baja and Beyond. I also shared some of my personal musings and reflections as I deemed it appropriate.

I wouldn’t say that I don’t enjoy writing now, but I would say it’s harder. In some of the books I’ve read about grief, they mention how many of the things that used to bring us joy are now hollow. I feel that at times, and even though in a few days we will hit the five month mark there are still a rollercoaster of emotions that I experience. I wish there were another way, but I don’t think there is. I believe that all in all Dawn and I are doing well considering what we are passing through. Yet, it’s still painful. There are still those moments where we want to scream out, Why? Why? Why? Fortunately, the Lord doesn’t leave us there he comforts us, and many friends surround us.

God Does Sustain Us in Our Suffering!

A little over a week ago our friend and pastor, Stephen Phelan asked Dawn and me to share in church about how the Lord sustains us in our suffering. I thought I’d share some of that here with you as well, including a dream that our friend Marissa had.

I never really understood how horrible death was until our daughter died
I realize that this isn’t the way it’s supposed to be, and there’s not a day that goes by that Dawn and I don’t feel some sadness, some frustration and like a part of us is gone.
I Miss My Beautiful Radiant Daughter
Our beautiful daughter and beloved sister, Hannah

Our beautiful radiant daughter and much loved sister, Hannah. We miss her dearly

I miss my daughter. I’m glad Hannah is dancing and partying in heaven, whatever that looks like, but I want to hold her and hug her again. I want to see her beautiful radiant smile in living color. There is a hole now that can’t fully be filled. That is my grief, that is my mourning song. I’m learning firsthand how cruel death is.

There is a type of groaning. One of the hard things about death is there are no do overs. No second chances. It is final. When I see pictures of Hannah and I’m reminded of her for a moment I think there must be a way to see her again this side of heaven. Maybe it’s a longing God puts inside of me. A longing for eternity, and a longing for something more and something greater than what this life has to offer.
God is Good, He Holds Me Tight
My anchor and what I’ve had to remember:
God is good
God is love
God is in control
These are simple truths, but it’s what I keep going back to when I get confused and lost on this long and winding road that we are on.
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I love this picture because Hannah took it at Starbucks one of our favorite places to hang out, and she put it on my lock screen on my phone

There’s a lot I don’t understand. I don’t understand why my daughter had to die at such a young age? Now I wonder why just a few months after Hannah’s early home going, why does my dad have to have inoperable lung cancer? Why do we have to endure two hard things so close together?

God made it clear to me that it is good to grieve and it is right to grieve. 1 Thessalonians 4:13 says we grieve, but not as those without hope.
Grieving With My Mechanic
About a week after Hannah passed away I took my car in to my mechanic and he asked me how my family was doing. My mechanic is from Afghanistan, and he’s not a believer.
I told him how my daughter had died, and that it was hard. I said, “my faith gives me hope, and that I grieve, but not like those without hope.” He said, “that is easy to say,” and I responded, “no it’s not really, because I don’t get to hug my daughter anymore, I don’t get to kiss her and tell her I love her. I don’t get to go out for coffee or have any dates with her. I don’t get to walk her down the aisle at her wedding. All our dreams and aspirations are gone.”
He softened up after this, and told me of how he had been struggling with drinking , and his wife forced him to go get help. Then he told me he had a vacation home in Bajamar, which is near Ensenada and offered to let me use it. The Lord used him to encourage me, as he opened up.
Hannah’s home going  made me hate death more, and it made me long for heaven. If I’m honest a big reason I want to go to heaven is to see my daughter again and to give her a big kiss and a big hug. What a wonderful day that will be.
12362973_734515866680367_9062266216563511086_oMarissa’s Dream
I’d like to end this longer post than usual with a dream. An experience that Hannah’s good friend Marissa Irakoze shared with us.
I woke up today feeling a really intense feeling of happy and sad. I had a dream I saw both of you and Jon and David standing by a bench, we were in Heaven from how peaceful and joyful I felt. There was a girl sitting with her back turned towards me, but she had soft brown curled hair just like Hannah would wear hers when she lived with us. I thought “no, there’s no way that could be Hannah”. She turned around and immediately I burst into something that was crying, squealing and laughing all at the same time. I somehow managed to say “I really thought I would never see you again!! I really felt like this day would never come!! I can’t believe this is you!!” And she just looked SO healthy. Healthier, more joyful, incredibly at peace, and everything about her just glowed, and so so content. I wish I could describe it. She hugged me tight and just said “see? I told you it wouldn’t be long until I would see you guys again! I told you not to worry because I’m with Jesus!”
 
I feel encouraged and sad, because we’re still on the other side of this dream and it DOES feel like it’s taking forever to be able to join her. But in the dream, I could tell I had been waiting so long to see her, but once I looked back it was nothing compared to the eternity we now had to catch up. It was one of the strangest feeling I’ve had in a dream.
 
Praying for you all today ❤️❤️
I told Marissa that I shared this dream with our church, and she said that it was the clearest dream she’s ever had. I think it’s God graciously giving us a glimpse of heaven!
“For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭30:5‬ ‭ESV‬‬
Thank you so much for standing with us. Thank you so much for letting me share my heart with you. I pray the Lord’s rich and bountiful blessings on you!
In His Grip, Dave
The Commissioning
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Petri with his core team behind him during commissioning service

Today (Sunday) was both an exhilarating and a painful day. Dawn and I went to Ensenada today to be with our friends. I’ve tried to keep you updated about the new church planting project in Ensenada, Renuevo that Jesus ‘Petri’ Petrikowski is leading. The Lord gave us the opportunity to participate in the commissioning of Petri and Yudy and their team as they leave La Nueva Jerusalén to start their new church.

They’ve been meeting as a core group now for a number of months, and the group is growing and coming together. Petri and Yudy felt like it was time for them to start meeting on Sundays as they continue to move forward on this new church plant. I’ve been concerned for Petri and Yudy, because I’ve not been able to support them as much as I would have liked to since Hannah passed away. Yet, they’ve just kept on going.

Surprised Again by God’s Good Work
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It was a privilege for me to pray for Petri & Yudy and the church planting core team  of Renuevo

I’m pleasantly surprised by the progress they are making, and it brings me great joy to see the Lord working through them.

The ministry continues and I know it’s not dependent on me, which is a good thing.

After the commissioning service Dawn and I were able to meet with the core group, and they are excited for what lies ahead. We enjoyed the opportunity to plan, dream and pray with them. They are all very special friends who love us and they love Hannah.

Another Painful First

In a sense that was the painful part of the day. Today marked the first day that Dawn had been to Ensenada since Hannah went to be with the Lord. She woke up today feeling sad and heavy.

I will let Dawn share the story herself from what she wrote.

Dave wrote at the bottom of this post (referring to a post on the Hannah Diaso Memorial page on Facebook) the verse that says, “joy comes in the morning.” Unfortunately, the joy has not yet come for me yet this morning. Dave wants to go to Ensenada today to a special church service, because of an upcoming new church plant. I am hating the idea to have to face another first going to Ensenada for the first time now without Hannah.

She loved going to Ensenada to minister with us there, and Ensenada was the last place she went to minister with us in Mexico before she died.

I woke up crying today and I am missing Hannah terribly. Recently it seems like the longer that it has been since she “moved to heaven”, the harder it has been for me.

Please pray that God shows me what I should do with myself during these upcoming challenging days. This morning all I want to do is go to heaven. Life on earth can be so very painful and difficult– seemingly unbearable at times.😰

God Loves Us and He Cares for Us
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Dawn and I enjoyed spending some time with our friends and eating some good fish tacos after the service

The Lord did minister to Dawn today, really to both of us. When she got out of the car to go into the church she started sobbing, but we were met there by some loving friends that knew Hannah. Our friends loved on Dawn, and they lifted up Dawn’s spirit and we both ended up feeling much better.

This day was a little harder than most, but we are still in the thick of the grieving process. Still a number of difficult firsts to pass through. Jesus is with us in these moments and he uses his people to love on us and minister to us. Thank you so much for praying for us and for praying for this amazing work in Ensenada!

In His Grip, Dave

DiasoLifeOnTheBorder.org

A New Year with New Opportunities
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David Sr., Jonathan, Dawn & David Jr. Our new normal

There are some positives to starting a new year. It gives us a chance to recalibrate. We can look back on the past year, and see where we’ve come from. A new year means new opportunities. I must say, that I’ve never had a new year quite like this one.

Last year ended on such a rough note, with our beautiful daughter’s passing. The problem with death I’m finding is there’s no time limit on the pain. The sadness and frustration come at what seems like the oddest times.

Needless to say Dawn and I are starting this new year off still dealing with the aftershocks of Hannah’s death. We are hopeful for a better 2017!

Thankful for Community
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I like this photo, because it represents some of our community which extends from Mexico to Cuba to the U.S.A and Beyond. Our Lord has blessed us with many friends!

I think we are more mindful than ever of the need for community. The necessity for friends to surround us and lift us up in prayer.

We ended the new year traveling from the State of Washington through Oregon and we landed in Redding, California on New Year’s Eve. David and Jonathan were with us, and a friend, Jacob Betchol. On the first day of the year we had the privilege of going to church and worshipping the King of Kings. We attended a wonderful and joyous service. Our loving Father met us there in a special way.

God’s Promises for a Better Tomorrow
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We are Going to Give it #AHannahPercent this Year!    Hannah, we miss you and we love you.

My heavenly Father reminded me of some important truths regarding Hannah’s death. I needed to hear this. “It’s not your fault (that’s something I’ve struggled with). It was Hannah’s appointed time to go. I took her and I will take good care of her.” These are truths the Lord had already assured me of, but as a father who loves his daughter so dearly I needed to hear them again. It was a good way to start off the new year.

As I think of beginning a new year I realize that part of this year includes healing. My family and I still need the Lord’s healing touch. Yet, another thing that the Lord has assured me of is that this is not the end, but the beginning of something greater.

The Lord has reminded me that it is right to grieve Hannah’s loss. Weeping endures for the night, but we will see victory; daybreak is coming. “Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning” (Psalm 30:5b). It’s like Jesus is saying to me personally, “Cease striving and know that I am God. Do not dwell on the pain. You are a testimony of my grace, and my strength is made perfect in your weakness. I will uphold you. You will not shrink back.”

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Hannah with her brothers, Jonathan & David

It is with this hope and assurance that we begin 2017. Yes, we are hurting. Yes, we are in pain, but God is our deliverer. He will not leave us here forever. In fact, he says that he will never leave us or forsake us!

This year we will begin to experience victory. The Lord is going to use our suffering and he will use our tears for his glory.

So I choose to be hopeful as we begin 2017. I continue to ask you to hold us up in prayer. We will not succeed without your loving support. Dawn and I give thanks for you!

In His Grip, Dave

DiasoLifeOnTheBorder.org

God’s Work of Healing
Hannah #AHannahPercent

Hannah
We love you #AHannahPercent

Today marks four weeks since Hannah passed away. Our family has felt so loved, and so embraced by all the friends who have sent us cards and notes. Friends and family who are praying for us and holding us up.

In the midst of this I’m slowly starting to get back involved in our work of ministry. Dawn and I covet your prayers as we move forward, because it is one of the hardest if not the hardest thing we’ve every had to deal with. God is greater! God is stronger than all our fears! Hallelujah!

Starting today I will begin ministering with my friends in Mexico to evaluate potential church planters. I need your prayers and an extra measure of grace.

More Glimpses of Heaven

The Lord has been so good to us in showing us glimpses of heaven as I shared in my last post.

Hannah is excited to be starting IMPACT 195

Hannah on her first day at IMPACT 195

Here’s a message from one of Hannah’s friends from her IMPACT 195 school. Her name is Marta, and here’s what she wrote.

Beautiful Family,

I just want to say that your daughter was the sweetest person I ever met. She came right up to me the first time I met her and just started complimenting me without even knowing me. That never happened to me before. She brought so much joy, so much love every where she went. When they told me what happened we were at the prayer chapel at IMPACT and started to pray.

God speaks to me in visions and He gave me a vision of her wearing a white dress looking even more beautiful and dancing with Jesus. She had that freedom dance with her hair everywhere, turning and just glowing so much! Filled with love and joy! She will never be forgotten and I can’t wait to see her again. I want to say that you did an amazing job raising her. I’ll be praying for you that God will bring you peace, comfort and may you completely trust that it was His timing.

Love, Marta

These added measures of grace that the Lord gives us are a huge boost to our faith. It’s a glimpse into what awaits all of us who are called by His name.

Hannah Diaso Memorial Facebook Group

I created a Facebook group called, “Hannah Diaso Memorial” if you’d like to join the group click on the link and I’ll add you in.

Thank you dear friends for going with us on this deep and difficult journey!

In His Grip, Dave

DiasoLifeOnTheBorder.org

Glimpses of God’s Grace
Chivis and Hannah

Chivis and Hannah

Since Hannah passed away the Lord has ministered to us, and shown us glimpses of grace. He has given us some previews of heaven.

One of Hannah’s best friends, Chivis. A friend that Hannah knew since they were about two years old. They first met each other in Mexico City, and that relationship continued through our years in Colorado and now on the San Diego/Tijuana border.

On the day Hannah died, Chivis had a dream. Hannah went to be with the Lord around midnight Pacific time on Tuesday, October 18th. Chivis had a dream at 2 AM Central time on the same day. Her dream is a very encouraging one, and gives us a glimpse into the Lord’s work.

Chivis’ Dream of Hannah
Hannah & Chivis in Mexico City

Hannah & Chivis in Mexico City

Here’s the dream that Chivis shared with us:

Hannah and I were in a beautiful garden, full of flowers. It was a beautiful and sunny day. When I saw Hannah’s face I was surprised, because she looked very young around 11 or 12 years old. Her face was radiant and it radiated such brilliance that I was sure that she had seen her Creator face to face (although I didn’t realize it at the time).

While we were together we laughed like we used to when we were younger. We shared jokes and we held hands. All of the sudden, I realized that the last time I saw Hannah in Mexico, she didn’t look like this. She was a little down, and she had gained weight and of course she was 22 years old.

When I remembered the last time I had seen her, it seemed strange so I turned to look at her again and there she was. She was young, smiling and full of joy. Then I fixed my sight on her, and I told her, “Hannah, sister, you are completely recovered!!!!!!” She turned to look at me with a smile and gave me a high-five. She said, “Yes, I feel very different, we made it!”

After exchanging hugs and some more time of chatting, Hannah said to me, “Chivita, I have to go, but I will see you soon. I love you very much.” I said goodbye too and gave her a big sister’s hug, and I told her that I loved her and she left.

Chivis & Hannah

Chivis & Hannah

Trusting God’s Goodness

This greatly encouraged Chivis, and when she shared it with us we felt that the Lord was giving us further confirmation that, although Hannah’s death is tragic in that she died so young, we see his hand was in it, and that he had a purpose in it. We may not understand that purpose, but we trust in the Lord’s wisdom.

There were also three or four others who shared visions that they had of Hannah. They saw her filled with joy, and at peace while she was enjoying being in heaven with her loving Father.

Thank you, Jesus for your kind graces to us, and thanks to all of those who love us and love our daughter, Hannah.

In his Grip, Dave

DiasoLifeOnTheBorder.org

God’s Work of Healing
Hannah celebrating the good news with her favorite Starbucks drink!

Hannah celebrating the good news with her favorite Starbucks drink!

Today we received some wonderful news. Dawn, Hannah and I went to see Hannah’s psychiatrist and he said that Hannah is doing so well that she no longer needs to be on any medication. Wow!

We’ve prayed for this for a long time. Two and a half years to be exact. A number of people have prayed for us and with us! Well guess what? God answered our prayer!

You can read about some of our trial here…

After we left the doctor I told Hannah that I wasn’t sure that I should share this, because it is sensitive info and I didn’t want to hurt or offend her. Hannah told me right away that she wanted to share it, and thought I should share it as well, because it’s a testimony of God’s goodness, God’s healing power and his amazing grace.

Hannah’s Amazing Testimony!
Hannah with our two loving brothers, David & Jonathan

Hannah with her two loving brothers, David & Jonathan

Actually Hannah posted this just a few minutes after we left the doctor’s office. She was so excited, and so were we!

Two and a half years later and my heart is full of joy. If someone would have told me then that I would be here now I would not have believed them. This is a testament of God’s faithfulness. I went to see my doctor today and he approved to release me. Today I can say… I am off ALL of my medications. I am NOT depressed, manic, anxious, or any other diagnosis. My name is Hannah and I AM a daughter of the King Most High.
This verse has meant a lot to me from the start, Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
No matter what situation you are in…. Nothing is impossible with God. NOTHING.
God is good all the time… And all the time God is good.

We walked through some very deep waters to get to this point. I feel like it was the most painful thing I’ve ever been through, but God rescued us.

God is Our Deliverer
Hannah, Dawn and Dave with Uncle Jim

Hannah, Dawn and Dave with Uncle Jim and Daisy

He is Jehovah Rophe our healer, and Jehovah Mephalti our deliverer!

God brought us out of the pit and healed our daughter in an amazing way. We like to call her our princess warrior, because of all she’s been through and all that she’s had to battle against.

God is indeed greater. We are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus. Hallelujah!

I want to thank each of you who stood with us through this uphill climb. My wife and our two boys were amazing in the ways they prayed for, encouraged and loved Hannah! God brought us the right people at the right time to help us through.

Rejoice with us dear friend! And again I say rejoice!

In His Grip, Dave

DiasoLifeOnTheBorder.org

The Crux of Our Faith

The resurrection is the very crux of our faith. In the resurrection, death is swallowed up in victory!

I love this bright day on the church’s calendar!

In Corinthians Paul reminds the church if there is no resurrection, then our faith if futile and we are to be pitied.

Dave preaching at Ministerios Transformation in La Morita Tijuana

We proclaim Christ crucified and our resurrected Lord – Dave preaching at Ministerios Transformation in La Morita Tijuana

“Now if Christ is proclaimed as raised from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? But if there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain. We are even found to be misrepresenting God, because we testified about God that he raised Christ, whom he did not raise if it is true that the dead are not raised. For if the dead are not raised, not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.

1 Corinthians 15:12-19 ESV (emphasis mine)

There are still many doubters. Still many who scoff at the cross, but the good news is that Christ was raised up from the grave on the third day, just as the scriptures said he would! Hallelujah!

Our sorrow and our despair is turned to joy in the cross. Christ lifts us up out the pit of despair, and gives us hope.

“Truly, truly, I say to you, you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn into joy.”

John 16:20 ESV (emphasis mine)

Those who know rejoice! Our task is to take this good news to the world.

We are the Easter People

My friend and colleague, Danny Kim has reminded me that we are the Easter people. Danny recently shared a wonderful quote.

“Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song.”

― Pope John Paul II

Sharing the love of Christ through prayer and medical care

Sharing the love of Christ in Ensenada through prayer and medical care

We are not a hopeless people, and although we are a people of faith it is a grounded faith. Faith based on the reliability of the very Word of God. There’s so much historical evidence, so many miraculous works throughout history that we need not doubt.

I give thanks and praise to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ that he was willing to die a terrible death in our place so that our sins might be forgiven. I praise the Father for loving us so much that He gave us His only Son!

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.”

Dave & Dawn

Happy Easter from Dave & Dawn

Hebrews 12:1-4 ESV (emphasis mine)

Life is not easy, but let us not grow weary or fainthearted. Look to Jesus and don’t ever take your eyes off of him!

Happy Easter! He is Risen! Dave

DiasoLifeOnTheBorder.org